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How can a beautiful female rarely get asked out?

Question:

My question is- how can a female with a beautiful appearance and nice personality rarely get asked out?

I am 30, and I don’t know how to show interest in a man. When I see someone attractive, all I feel like doing is running the other way. Is it possible that on some unconscious level, I’m actually sending signals that say ’keep away’ ?

How can I change that?

I’m very shy and rarely go out, so if you have suggestions, please include possibilities for meeting someone in the supermarket/grocery store. I know it seems a bit unorthodox, but for me it’s just a start.

Thank you so much for your help.

Answer:

You answered your first question with your second and third sentences by saying, "I don’t know how to show interest in a man" and "When I see someone attractive, all I feel like doing is running the other way." Yes. You are sending signals that say "keep away". Unfortunately, you’re sending them to the guys you most want to meet.

How can you change that? Sit down with a pen and paper and ask yourself why you’re afraid to attract a man on a romantic level. Write down why you feel or believe it’s wrong to show a man you’re attracted to him. Look at it in black and white. You just clearly identified the problem and the solution.

The solution is to change your belief system because, unless you change these beliefs, you will only be approached by bad prospects, guys who just want short term sex. One of the most important lessons I teach my students is the person you meet (or want to meet) has to respond to you according to the way you present yourself. The way you’re presenting yourself is guaranteeing the good prospects will stay away.

Lonely, frustrated women don’t show men they’re interested in them...

After you’ve written down the problem, you may find you’ve written some version of "Nice women don’t show men they’re interested in them." Yes, they do. To phrase it correctly, "Lonely, frustrated women don’t show men they’re interested in them." That’s why they’re lonely and frustrated.

So how do you show a man you’re interested in him, and how do you do it with class, style and dignity? Simple: Establish eye contact with him and smile. Then let him come to you. If he in any way makes fun of your being shy, embarrassed or flustered, he’s not the kind of a guy for you.

In overcoming your shyness, ask yourself what’s more important to you: What other people think or your personal happiness? I hope your personal happiness wins because you deserve to be loved, cared for, understood, accepted and sexually satisfied. But no one can give it to you unless you let them. Give yourself permission to show a man you’re interested in him and start enjoying relationships the way you’re supposed to.

The eye contact and smile work anywhere. Pick your favorite spot to test it out and have fun.

Good luck and God Bless.